Category: Blog

Life can get busy,
news can be depressing,
to-do lists can be overwhelming,
time can seem to fly by,
opportunities can be lost,
fun can become a distant memory,
joy can feel like a foreign concept…

So, why not press pause?

Spend time admiring that lady bug on a leaf,
the one in the garden,
that you haven’t been spending enough time in these days.

Or stop and smell the roses,
if that’s more your thing.

There should always be time to admire a lady bug on a leaf.

Otherwise,
one really isn’t living life quite right,
don’t you think?

Don’t shut people down.

The point of being an ally is to leave space, to make space, for others.

It isn’t appropriate to shut people down just because you disagree with them, or you don’t understand their perspective—especially if you haven’t really heard them out.

Claiming to be an ally, when it suits you or improves your image because others are watching, that’s performative allyship—not the real deal.

Proceeding to decide for others what they should think or how they should feel, that’s the opposite of being an ally.

Others will have a different lived experience than you. The perspective of folks with minority (or socially perceived minority) identities may not reflect the majority worldview, it’s likely they won’t. That’s kind of the point.

Their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives are valid, but society doesn’t necessarily give them much, if any, room to share those thoughts.

The job of an ally is to make space for others, to hear what they have to share—especially if their perspective is different than yours.

It’s okay to not understand, or to be confused, that’s part of the learning process.

If anything, ask for clarification, if you don’t quite understand something that’s been said, rather than partially hearing what others have to say, then immediately shutting down, tuning them out, correcting their view point, or ignoring their thoughts all together.

That isn’t the behaviour of an ally.

Being an ally involves stepping into a commitment to learn—to learn about the systemic disadvantages that others are faced with, to learn how their voices aren’t heard enough.

In order to learn, it’s necessary to make space for others, to hear what they have to say and share, to listen to those voices—the ones that society has a tendency to marginalise or overlook.

Heck, why not level up?

Become an accomplice. Take the learning you’ve acquired and actually do something with it.

An accomplice seeks to use what privilege they have to actively reduce and remove the barriers that others face.

But before one can get there, it’s imperative to learn how to listen.

Listening is how we learn, and listening to the lived experiences others have, to their views and their needs, is exactly the learning that must happen, before any meaningful action can be taken.

So, whether you’re an ally or an accomplice, at this point, listening is always a worthy skill to develop—it’s the first step to learning, understanding, and knowing how to help.

Because being an ally or accomplice isn’t about an identity you hold—it’s about what you do, it’s about how well you listen to the voices of others.

If you stop listening,
when things get uncomfortable,
you check out,
just as you need to listen,
more deeply,
and intently.

You miss the opportunity to learn—
and to grow.

And, that is what listening is for.

So, listen,
with your whole body,
and your whole mind.

Listen with your heart,
even when it feels uncomfortable.

You don’t need to do anything more,
just listen.

Don’t worry,
you don’t need to change your opinion,
you’re not losing any space,
and there’s no rush.

Let what you hear settle,
let it sit for a bit.

Pause,
and consider it all,
for a while.

What do you notice,
that’s different this time?
What did you not feel,
in the times before?

Listening,
isn’t always about understanding,
or responding,
or correcting.

Often, listening,
is just about making space.

About making space for others,
for their words,
for their thoughts,
for their experience.

It’s about making space in your heart,
to broaden your perspective,
to widen your universe,
to expand your life.

Making space,
that’s what listening is really all about.  

So, now that you reflect,
and consider,
listening deeply,
and intently,
what do you truly hear?

How have things changed,
for you,
for the world around you,
for your perception of it?

There’s a good chance,
that’s it’s grown,
wider or deeper,
even by just a little.

That’s why it’s usually best,
not to check out too soon.
You may miss the beauty of life,
closing yourself off,
from a world of possibility.  

What I need versus what I want.

That’s a daily topic for consideration.

How much do I need?

What do I really like?

Do I actually want this? Or will I feel differently tomorrow, or next week?

What’s holding me down, or lightening the load?

If I could only choose three things: three shirts, three pieces of art, three books, which would I choose?

Which things do I use most often? Which do I like more than others?

Less is more, when it comes to things, feels so true.

What is want anyway? Why does it seem to be so fleeting?

That’s a daily topic for consideration.

What I need versus what I think I want.

It is often in the quiet that we hear best.

We are most in-tune with our thoughts, hopes, and understanding of ourselves and others.

It is in those moments of quiet that we hear truth.

We can reflect, mourn, dream, and re-centre in ways that the noise of busyness doesn’t allow.

It is in the quiet that we learn to hear.

We learn to hear those things we push to the side, those things that get in the way of coping or getting by.

It is in the stillness of quiet that we can breathe deeply.

We can rest, recuperate, understand with greater clarity, and choose more wisely where we go next.

It is often in the quiet that we hear best.

Where do you make room for quiet in your day? How does it change your life?

To belittle someone else says far more about you than it does about them.

That counts for sarcasm, too.

There’s no need to put others down. That doesn’t actually raise you up. It just lowers everyone.

Kindness holds far more worth than money, status, or things.

But words can be cheap, too.

Living kindness into the world. That’s where the real value is.

This world, Spirit, has a fair amount of suffering in it, in case you haven’t noticed.

So much suffering, in fact, that many often lose their way in you because of it.

(It’s a real problem, you might even say.)

We suffer, seemingly, alone.
We suffer together.
We suffer knowing of the suffering of others.

That last one, that can be a real doozey.

But you know that, don’t you?

You know all too well the suffering,
for you are suffering too—
you must be—
to see the world as it is some days.

To know that so many have chosen another way,
a way that cuts and hurts and breaks apart.

But you are patient,
present,
and full of life,
and you wait—
for us to heed your call and return,
together,
to your way—
to the way of everlasting love and peace.

You wait for us to return to creating with you—
the world,
life,
as you imagine.

A world in which,
at the very least,
we realise that we are not alone,
that we are never alone.

And that’s a good thing.

Because suffering isn’t something that should be felt or endured alone.

And, even, if we can’t always feel it in every moment,
those words that Simon and Garfunkel so aptly sung,
are so true of you,
that—

“I will comfort you
I’ll take your part

Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Oh, if you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind”

And your presence, Spirit, time and again, always does.

For you are there, suffering, right along with us.

Amen.

As we go forth to live our lives,
let us pause,
consider,
remember,
the lessons we learn,
in those moments of deep listening.

When we leave space for others,
and ourselves,
and all that surrounds us—

To truly hear,
and embrace,
the subtlety of the moment—

So that we can grow,
in wisdom,
patience,
love,
and connection,
with the majesty that is life.

Maybe start the day off with a little cleaning.

A smaller task, readily accomplished, but it’s just a start. Something to build on.

What is a simpler task you could do today, so that you begin the day feeling like you’ve already accomplished something?

Tidying up is a helpful place to start because it makes room. Room for something new.

Room for creativity, for meaningful thoughts, for a conversation that doesn’t feel rushed.

No one needs to begin their day stressed before they’ve even done anything.

Making room in your physical space can help create a more calm, less stressed environment. One you could actually get something done in, rather than stressing about the mess.

Maybe start the day off with a little cleaning.

You never know how productive, or at least less stressful, the rest of your day will be as a result.

Besides, you’ll probably have accomplished the most important task of the day—leaving yesterday’s stress in yesterday. And making room for today. Room to be fully present in today.

Often, when we think of gratitude, we focus on the many things or opportunities in our lives that we are grateful for.

But what if we could only choose three “things” that we are most grateful for? What would you choose?

Sure, I am grateful for the pencil, eraser, and piece of paper I used to initially write these thoughts down with. I am also grateful for the sun, wind, and soil.

Loved ones, meaningful conversation, and even just some semblance of financial comfort are also things I have great appreciation for.

But I am most grateful for a mindset of hope, the capacity for love, and the sense of calm felt in the stillness of a moment.

All for me are integrally tied to faith and connection. And all are things I can, and must, seek to cultivate.

Finding, reflecting on, and sitting with the hope, love, and stillness I experience and intentionally search out each day, for me, makes a practice of gratitude even more meaningful.

There’s a simplicity to it. And a participation in it.

Many other things I am grateful for are extensions of these three things.

What are you most grateful for?

Letting go of control can actually help you find more of it—the good kind.

Trying to control others, control the outcome, control the world around you, rarely goes well. And it certainly isn’t likely to go the way you hoped, or “planned” it would.

So, why not let go of control? Instead, put your energy into exercising agency over your own life, and the things you can control.

You can’t control others, and you probably shouldn’t seek to.

You can control you, though. Your thoughts, your behaviour, your contribution.

Letting go of trying to control the things you can’t, instead focusing on the things you can—you, so often helps to create the conditions for the reality you’re really looking for anyway.

Live into the world the way you want the world to shine back at you, and the more often it will.

Living simply is about choice and intention; it’s about choosing what you bring into your home and life.

Living simply is about letting go of the things that don’t hold meaning for you; it’s about creating space to breathe and to choose what you most value.

Living simply is about finding clarity; it’s about seeking presence in the moment over future outcomes and results.  

Living simply is about choice and intention; it’s about living fully in this moment, not rushing towards the next.

Being busy isn’t the same as being productive.

You can be busy all day, all week, and not actually finish anything. Not actually produce anything.

And, you can certainly be busy and not produce quality.

After all, busyness is just busyness.

You may start the week with a few goals, get distracted, and not actually achieve any of them.

Maybe you didn’t even establish what your goals were in the first place.

Either way, you could still keep busy and feel like you must have accomplished something. Even if you don’t know what that something was.

How much you are trying to do or how hard you are working aren’t inherently connected to how productive you are being.

We live in a world that seems to reward busyness, praise it, even. And, if you want to keep active, busyness can certainly help you.

But being busy isn’t the same as being productive.

And it won’t necessarily get you where you want to be.

Knowing where you’re headed and then getting there requires a different approach—you might begin with figuring out where you actually want to go.

With no address to aim for, GPS doesn’t do its best work. And, likely, neither do you.

Help create the world you want to be a part of.

Live the change you want to see.

Talk is great, but doing something is so much more meaningful and impactful. That’s how real change happens.

What kind of world do you want to be a part of?

In the quiet stillness of the moment,
I come to rest.

I am neither lost in thought,
or overwhelmed by the future to come—
I just am.

Quiet, and listening,
to the wisdom that comes to me in that stillness.

The beauty and depth that I am able to experience of life in those moments—reminds me of who I am,
and want to be—
of all that I am connected with.

In those moments,
I can just be—
and that is enough.

And it is in those moments,
that I can truly hear.
Truly listen.
Deeply listen.

It is in those moments,
that I am able to grow,
in harmony,
with the interconnected web of existence.

Seeking to understand, not just to be understood requires whole body listening.

It’s a principle that can be difficult to follow, but it’s so worth it when you do.

Listening, true listening, is a whole-body exercise.

The words people use and the tone they use are only part of what they are communicating.

To truly understand what someone is saying, or how they feel, it can help to consider: What is their perspective? Where are they coming from? What is it they are really asking? What is it they are really looking for?

When we seek to help others, it’s best to consider if we are helping others in the way they wish to be helped, or if what we are doing is really for our own benefit.

Are we actually solving a problem for them, or do we just want to feel like we are?

Whole body listening is a key component in a life committed to service.

Knowing what others are really looking for, or need help with, can help you to better serve them, in a meaningful way.

It isn’t easy doing whole body listening; it’s a skill that needs constant practice, patience, and perspective. But, it’s a skill worth developing.

Communication is all about connection. And the better you listen, the better you can connect with others.

Small things are as important as big ones.

It’s the small things that influence big change. The direction change will move in.

The small things you do each day matter.

A simple kindness: a smile, a sympathetic gesture, a thoughtful word. These are the things that help the world go round.

It’s the small things that shape our present, and our future.

Think about the negative, dwell on the negative, talk about the negative, and that’s the reality you will share with others.

That’s the reality you will help to create.

Do you think the world is full of doom and gloom? Or do you think the world is full of great beauty and potential?

Your choice.

Choose wisely.

Perfection isn’t necessary, or even possible, but seeking to do better next time is very possible.

And, possibly, very necessary.

Your words can help to create a world of patience, peace, and love, or one of annoyance, anger, and hate.

The smallest of utterances can have the greatest of impacts.

Be careful with your words.

Being quick to listen, rather than quick to assume what someone is about to say can allow for true listening.

Assuming or jumping to conclusions, may lead you to miss out on opportunities, more than you know.

Truly hearing what someone has to say requires patience and full presence in that moment.

All your attention is needed to understand what is being communicated.

So, pause, take your time before you speak again.

Let their words rest a moment. Let their words, and how they share them, be truly heard.

Just because someone isn’t showing you kindness, doesn’t mean you can’t extend kindness to them.

There is a world of potential on the other side of the door.

Sometimes you’re the one who has to stand there, holding the door open, so that others can take that first step.

L-O-V-I-N-G-K-I-N-D-N-E-S-S.

What does that even mean?

Lots of people blab on about it, but does anyone actually know what it means?

Do they even practise it? Live it?

I think I’ll spend each day trying to learn more about it.

Each day unravelling a little more of its’ hidden mystery.

Discovering how lovingkindness permeates the world, and life, and how it brings beauty to the surface.

Yes, that seems like a worthy cause.

Maybe I’ll make that my mission. My purpose.

Lovingkindness.

To seek it out, learn about it, and live it into the world.

Yup.

That sounds like a good purpose to have.

Dear Spirit,

It’s late.

And I don’t have much to say right now.

That’s because this world has a lot going on.

Sometimes I don’t know what to say. Or what to do. Or how to help.

So, maybe you could help me out, and help me to find a place to start.

A place to help.

If only for today.

Amen.